It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I want to fling myself into the sun
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize