You don't have asthma, your pregnant
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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