It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
