He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
