She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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