your thong is hanging out like whoa
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
