they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
