i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
