Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
