All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
