is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
