The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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