Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
a search helicopter?!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
