Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
