making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
