TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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