So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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