I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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