I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize