put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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