Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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