How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize