i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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