i barfeds in our rink
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
