i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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