The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Enjoy the penises
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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