ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
