I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
