You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
