Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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