I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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