You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
