Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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