She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can I color on your dick again?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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