Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
