Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
