I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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