woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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