Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
