Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
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the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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