At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
