People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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