It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
as a side note pls kill me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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