is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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