Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
