OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
