Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
