The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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