he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Holy shit dude........stairs
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
