I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
