How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
