True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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