So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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