K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Small penises have feelings too.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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