the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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