So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
