In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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