So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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