she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
