i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
