Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
