I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
