you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
In America we eat man semen.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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