I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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