What did we do last night that was yellow?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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